Words matter.  How you speak to people matters. When you’re engaged in conversation, there’s another level of unconscious communication going on with the subconscious.  The subconscious mind does not filter data. It simply receives. The language of the subconscious mind is emotions, images and sensations.  You want people to walk away from a conversation feeling better. Feeling good. Feeling encouraged. You don’t want your language to make people feel defeated, stupid or irrelevant.  Once they experience those negative emotions with you, that’s how they will see you – negatively. Conversely, you can use your language to make people see you as light and the Queen you say you are.

Here are a few phrases to eliminate from your conversation. 

1.      “I don’t care”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – Their feelings are trivial. They don’t matter. They aren’t worth your concern. 

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “I can see why this matters to you…”

2.      “You’re wrong”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR - You think they’re stupid. They don’t know anything.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “My understanding is…”

3.      “This should be easy”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – It’s easy for most people, something is wrong with them if they’re having trouble.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “We all have different talents.  How can I help?”

4.      “What you don’t understand is…”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – They lack intellect or the ability to comprehend.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “Another way to see this is….”

5.      “Are you finished?”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – You’re telling them to shut-up.  You don’t really care about what they’re saying.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – Nothing.  Let them fully express themselves.

6.      “Relax”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – The situation does not warrant their emotions.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “I didn’t realize this meant so much to you. Let’s fix it”

7.      “Get over it”

WHAT PEOPLE HEAR – You are superior. The situation wouldn’t bother you. They are invalidated.

WHAT A QUEEN SAYS – “This must be hard. I’m here for you.”

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