things you shouldn’t say to a cancer patient

This blog post is in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the survivors, the fighters and those who lost their battle. 

I am a breast cancer survivor.  I thank God I survived.  Breast cancer treatment scarred, disfigured and changed my body forever.  1 in 8 American women are diagnosed with breast cancer every year.  Every journey is different.  Every journey is personal.  Every patient is changed by their experience.  It’s a daunting task to fight cancer.

I can remember well-meaning people saying things to me that made me uncomfortable, sad and sometimes mad.  Here are a few things you may want to refrain from saying to a cancer patient:

·      “I know someone who died from that” – This is totally unnecessary and not comforting at all.

·      “Were you a smoker?” – This implies the cancer is somehow the patient’s fault.

·      “I know how you feel” – You don’t.  Even if you’re a survivor. Every experience is different.

·      “Everything happens for a reason” – As if there’s some lesson to be learned. 

·      “You don’t look good” – Duh. Cancer treatment takes its toll.  Don’t make them feel worse.

·      “You’re strong, you’ll be fine” – This minimizes the situation and puts pressure on the patient to hold in their fears and pain.

·      “It could be worse” – Nothing could be worse than what the patient is experiencing at that moment.  Don’t dismiss it.

Ultimately, friends and family want to know they have support.  You don’t necessarily have to say anything relating to their condition.  Many times, if a person wants to discuss what they’re dealing with, they will bring it up when they are comfortable. 

Tip: I always appreciated when someone would make me laugh or distract me with conversations that had nothing to do with cancer.

Take care of yourself, do self-examinations and if you are 40 years or older; schedule your annual mammograms.

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